Izzy: Greetings, one and all! I am glad you’re here today because I am going to personally knock your socks off!
Elsa: I got a sneak peek and wowza! You’re not kidding.
Izzy: That’s a good “Wowza” I assume.
Elsa: The best kind of Wowza there is! Welcome everyone to Who Wore it Best!?
Izzy: Sasha stole my look. Identity theft is not a joke, Elsa!
Elsa: I do believe you may have stole HER look. So this begs the questions, “Who Wore it Best?”
Izzy: Does this question even have to be asked? Shouldn’t the answer be obvious? Winninnnnnggg……
Elsa: You do look stunning, Izzy. You look so beautiful in bright pink and the dress by designer @lolaandpooch is so luxe!
Izzy: Of course it is!
Elsa: And the hat!
Izzy: I love it, too.
Elsa: It has an interesting organic shape. I have to say though, it reminds me of a Teletubby!
Izzy: Please don’t remind me of that frightening children’s show!
Elsa: Goodness, girl. Where did you go in that hat, anyway? Man-Hat- Tan?
Izzy: Oh, geeze, let’s leave the jokes to me, Elsa. Sheesh… Okay, let’s discuss our friend @sashavelour wearing this lovely ensemble. The gloves are boss on her long, beautiful arms, but I chose not to include them in my outfit.
Elsa: It’s good to know your body and how to dress for your specific shape. I think the addition of gloves would have made you look shorter and would have added too much bulk.
Izzy: Good thing we’re friends girl, or I would have thought you were calling me short and fat! Mmm..hmmm….. Moving-on.. Sasha Velour looks amazeballs, but I think I am the clear winner!
Elsa: It’s a pretty close race, but I have to agree that you bring a little bit of sugar to that spicy outfit.
Izzy: Yeah, me!
Elsa: Far be it from me to take the spotlight off of you, Izzy, but we do have to move onto our first look of the week.
Izzy: Oh, this look is giving me life!
Elsa: Chance looks Fab-u-lous! And oh, so ….
Izzy: Badass! That’s all I can say.
Elsa: He looks tough but not wicked.
Izzy: A little wicked.
Elsa: Rebellious, but not mean. I get a trendy James Dean.
Izzy: I love the layers of fringe. A single row could have looked sparse and cheap, but this looks amazing.
Elsa: Leather is a heavy material, so you do have to be careful on how you layer it. I think what makes it look right is the fact that the fringe is narrow. A broader fringe would have read too heavy.
Izzy: Did you know that leather jackets are great for sneaking up on people?
Elsa: Umm…. no?
Izzy: Because they are made of “hide.” Ba-dum-dum! Thank you! I’m here all week!
Elsa: And you say MY jokes are bad???? Besides, I’m confident that all the lovely jackets we will see today, this one included, are faux leather. We don’t want to “wear” our friends.
Elsa: The aviators with the purple lenses are awesome too. They fit Chance’s face perfectly and the they add a dash of color to the outfit.
Izzy: Here’s another example of how to add a dash of color to a monochromatic look.
Elsa: Adorbs! How can someone be both so badass and nice girl at the same time?
Izzy: I have to have that collar. This is in-yo-face-I-want-everyone-to-know-that-I-shop-Gucci-chic!
Elsa: The fact that it is big and bulky works really well with this look too. Love!
Izzy: She can be a part of my Gucci Gang anytime!
Elsa: And the fact that Tinkerbelle wore a black top under the jacket provides a great canvas for that Ba-da-Bing bling!
Izzy: The supple and rich leather jacket is from @wagwear and is perfect for Tinkerbelle. It fits her body and her personality–sassy and sweet.
Elsa: Ready for more? The next photo will give you goosebumps!
Elsa: Goosebumps! You’re right!
Izzy: Denim can be just as badass as leather and this is the prime example. I’m in-love with this Battle Denim Vest from @hellopethaus. And I might be a little in-love with Gus.
Elsa: He is your type. I love his sunglasses too. The color and fit are spot-on.
Izzy: Sunglasses are a great way to completely transform your look. Not that Gus needs transforming! Ohhh..la…la…
Elsa: This is another example of knowing your body and dressing for it. Gus has nice, sculpted arms and he knows it. These cut-off sleeves accentuate Gus’ bulging muscles and ….
Izzy: You’re not helping, Elsa! Gus, call me!
Elsa: As I was saying, Gus really knows his body and has chosen to show off his chest and arms. With that kind of body, going shirtless is super chic.
Izzy: Going shirtless isn’t ALWAYS a good idea….
Izzy: No tea, no shade, but that, my friends, is not how you go shirtless or wear denim, unless of course you are going on a hayride after you’re done churning butter.
Elsa: Izzy! You’re not being very nice.
Izzy: Nice is for people who aren’t smart enough to be sarcastic!
Elsa: Well, I don’t think that is true, but I do agree with you on these pants. They are not exactly on-trend.
Izzy: I have seen clothing from this designer before and there are some pretty nice pieces, especially a few of the dresses, but this is, well, not good.
Elsa: I get the tail hole for obvious reasons, but why are there tufts of fur hanging out the sides of the pants? I don’t see any design or practical reason for it.
Izzy: I think the whole underside of the pants might be open and this is a fit issue. Makes using the fire hydrant easier? The red ass patch confuses me more.
Elsa: From badass to redass?
Izzy: Exactly! The denim is also a weird old lady color. It is too Elderly Ellie Mae Clampett for my taste.
Elsa: The dog is beautiful though and the craftsmanship looks great. This designer really knows how to sew.
Izzy: Always looking for that silver lining, aren’t you, Elsa?
Elsa: They say if you can’t say anything nice, then you shouldn’t say anything at all.
Izzy: In that case, I guess the show is over??
Elsa: Since Izzy is now on mute, I will end the show myself. Stay fabulous, Fashionistas!
For more Pawshion Police, click here. And, be sure to tune in every Friday for your weekly dose of fashion and sass!
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