Izzy: Greetings all you Boos and Ghouls.
Elsa: Did you have a nice Halloween?
Izzy: Yes! You saw me! How could you not have a good day when you finally find the perfect outfit. Not only is it bitchin’ cool but it absolutely represents my position in life.
Elsa: Finally found an outfit to match your mood.
Izzy: Not my mood, per say, but my occupation. My destiny. I’ve always known I was a queen but now I have confirmation that I am the Queen of Broken Hearts. Webster’s dictionary defines me as “A regal and powerful member of royalty with charisma, charm and sexual attraction of such magnitude that people are naturally attracted to me…”
Elsa: Do we have a fact checker in the house?
Izzy: “And,” as Webster’s continues, “Unfortunately, I can not love all those who love me and have gotten the accurate, yet unfortunate tile of ‘Queen of the Broken Hearts.”
Elsa: Ohhh… pa-leaase.
Izzy: Sometimes the truth hurts, Elsa. Don’t hate the player; hate the game.
Elsa: I don’t hate the player, Izzy. I love you dearly.
Izzy: And I suppose you think you’re superior to the queen… being a super hero and all.
Elsa: I think they both have their places in society.
Izzy: Well, keep in mind that the Queen DOES make the rules.
Elsa: But Wonder Woman can enforce them.
Izzy: I don’t like that you have super-powers but I do love your outfit, gurrrrrl! That is HAWT!
Elsa: Thank you. And you do know that I am just wearing a costume. I don’t REALLY have superpowers any more than you are real royalty.
Izzy: So that means that you really DO have superpowers because I AM real royalty.
Elsa: Okay, Izzy, then I will use my superpowers to get you to move onto our first look.
Izzy: I suppose it is time to look at the heir to the Queen of Broken Heart’s throne.
Elsa: See? It worked…. you moved-on.
Izzy: DANG It!!
Elsa: Isn’t he just so lovely!!
Izzy: I guess.
Elsa: There is nothing to hate here. This dress is exquisite! The workmanship in the outfit is truly fit for a King or Queen.
Izzy: An imposter queen.
Elsa: Didn’t Lola make your costume…
Elsa: Didn’t Lola make your “uniform” too.
Izzy: Yes. I’m not saying that his outfit, and mine of course, isn’t OutStinkinStanding, but seriously, know your place, sir. I’m the queen.
Elsa: Since this IS a fashion related show, maybe we should discuss, I don’t know… FASHION, instead of your royal family bloodline and unreasonable amounts of jealousy.
Izzy: Okay… fashion. There. Wait… I’m not jealous.
Elsa: This dress is spectacular. The contrast between the red and the black is so dramatic and the heart headpiece is so well made.
Izzy: Fine. We can talk fashion. I love the hints of fur that can be seen through the sheer skirt… you sexy little bitch king.
Elsa: The trim is amazing. The fabric choice is spot-on. The … well, everything… is perfect. This is the designer to watch!
Izzy: She is amazing and this dress is amazing.. not quite as amazing as mine, but….
Elsa: Moving along… Take a look at this fantastic costume.
Izzy: WOW!! Another queen trying to steal my spot light.
Elsa: I think she is actually King Tut.
Izzy: Queen Tut!! I told you! Why can’t people just let me have the stinkin’ spotlight?
Elsa: I’m pretty sure there is no large conspiracy. You do have to admit that this costume is spectacular.
Izzy: No doubt! The craftsmanship is outstanding and the colors are dramatic…
Elsa: The fit is amazing and …
Izzy: Everyone is trying to one-up me… Not satisfied with being a queen…NOOO she has to dress like a king.
Elsa: Coincidence…. costumes… Halloween… FUN!! Keep these words in mind.
Izzy: As long as Nika here doesn’t think she is MY king, we should be okay… I do love her eyes too, don’t you? They go so beautifully with the pops of blue in the costume too.
Elsa: She looks like she should be in a Katy Perry video.
Izzy: Or Bangles.
Elsa: The Bangles are a little before your time…
Izzy: You Tube!!
Elsa: Ready to be scared??
Izzy: No, because apparently I have a Superhero here to protect me.
Elsa: Thank you?
Izzy: Ack! That is pretty scary. As queen, I might have to outlaw that…
Elsa: This Venom costume, though scary, is pretty awesome and I can see a sweet little face poking through that scary mask.
Izzy: This Venom costume is well done and pretty fabulous, no doubt. I love the way the spider legs are actually hanging off of the bodice and the sleeves. I love the three-dimensional effect.
Elsa: The texture on the mask is interesting too, but the star of the show, of course is this mouth full of teeth!!
Izzy: It’s pretty bad anus!
Elsa: Bad anus?
Izzy: You told me not to cuss so much.
Elsa: Thank you.
Izzy: You’re welcome butt face.
Elsa: Izzy, you are impossible.
Izzy: You know what is impossible… It’s impossible not to look at this handsome hunk of man.
Elsa: You know, we are supposed to be discussing fashions. We aren’t here to look at handsome men.
Izzy: You mean YOU aren’t here to look at handsome men. You need to learn to speak for yourself.
Elsa: The hat on this costume is so amazing. The liquid gold lame fabric is perfect for this outfit. And the feathers… the jewel… they all work together to create such an amazing look.
Izzy: I think the bulging muscles on his chest and those dark chocolate eyes are what make the outfit.
Elsa: And the purple vest with the matching gold trim! It’s all so exquisite.
Izzy: He is pure and solid gold!!
Elsa: Colston is 24 karat gold in my book!
Izzy: Back off my man, Wonder Woman!
Elsa: Afraid I might use my superpowers to win this hottie over?
Izzy: As queen, I forbid it!!
Elsa: As Wonder Woman you know that I can make you abdicate.
Izzy: As queen, I can send you to the dungeon for even saying that..
Elsa: As Wonder Woman, you know that I could break-out.
Izzy: As queen… oh, nevermind. This could go on all night and I’d rather call Colston and see if he sees me in that crystal ball of his.
Elsa: Do you see a future together?
Izzy: I see at least a one-nighter… if you know what I mean??
Elsa: Subtle. A three-year-old would know what you mean.
Izzy: You’re sassy when you are in costume.
Elsa: It’s my superpower.
Izzy: By the way, your costume or uniform or whatever you want to call it … is amazing. The red bodice is to die for. I wish I had a dress made entirely of that red fabric.
Elsa: It is pretty great, isn’t it?
Izzy: Well, I have people to throw in a dungeon and hearts to break.
Elsa: And I have people to save from dungeons and heartbreak.
Izzy & Elsa: Stay fabulous, fashionistas!
For more Pawshion Police, click here. And, be sure to tune in every Friday for your weekly dose of fashion and sass!
To be considered for a Pawshion Police review, please submit your photos to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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