Izzy: Welcome all you Carrie Bradshaw’s and Charlotte York’s!
Elsa: Binge watching Sex and the City again?
Izzy: Binging it? I’m living it! It’s New York fashion week, baby!!!!!! Sex and the City and Fashion Week are all about sexy people in fabulous clothes!!
Elsa: One of my favorite times of the year! Designers and catwalks and models, oh my!!
Izzy: I have been sitting by my computer all week looking for fashion updates. I’m so exhausted!
Elsa: I’ve been pretty obsessed with it too. But I did find time to check-out some of my favorite Instagram accounts. I found something AMAZING… I have to share this “Who Wore it Best” with you!
Izzy: Oh gurllll, Trix, you look thick like Kylie!!! And amazing! I think she is ready for New York Fashion week.
Elsa: I think Kylie looks pretty darn good too!
Izzy: This is a close one. Let’s take a better look.
Elsa: Let me analyze the beautiful Kylie Jenner. Her skin is glowing! She looks fit, tan and ridiculously curvy. This jumpsuit fits really well … well, everywhere. Nothing inappropriate there!
Izzy: Oh goodness, there could be some really tacky stuff going on up front, but she looks so amazing. Now, let’s look at this sassy little bitch, Trix! Her fierce expression is amazing, but her eyes are still warm. Her pose seems more natural than Kylie’s. I love their purses too.
Elsa: I’m glad they didn’t over-accessorize this outfit. With so much sparkle going on, these simple accessories are just perfect.
Izzy: I’m going to give my win to Kylie. She’s my bitch.
Elsa: I do love Kylie, but I think I’ll give my vote to Trix because she’s my…. the word you said.
Izzy: I wonder how many vodkas it would take to loosen you up.
Elsa: I’m loose!
Izzy: Is that a confession?
Elsa: Not that kind of loose!
Izzy: I knew there was some Courtney Love under that wholesome exterior!
Elsa: Oh, Izzy, you know what I meant. But let’s distract you with a little more sparkle, okay?
Izzy: Ohhhh, more sparkles! Can’t hardly beat that!
Elsa: Look at those two!! They look ready to walk the catwalk in New York! Very tasteful and yet so much fun!
Izzy: Orbit is in a rockin’ groovy sherwani! Kurta. This is where east meets west! Super sophisticated and yet so modern because of the simple fabrics, the innovative colors and of course, the sparkle!!
Elsa: They say that good things come to those who sparkle and it would appear that good things have come Orbit’s way. Maggie is beautiful too. I love the blush color of her dress, her beautiful collar and that ushanka-hat! that Ushanka hat!
Izzy: Looks like a dreamy scene from Dr. Zhivago! It’s as if Dr. Zhivago had been a woman who took a trip to an exotic far eastern location with her BFF and then came back for New York fashion week to strut her stuff.
Elsa: Okay. Oddly specific and just… odd, but okay. I see the Russian influence in the hat and the Indian influence in Orbits outfit.
Izzy: That’s what I’m saying!
Elsa: Right, but in a much crazier, somewhat incoherent way. I love that Orbit is exploring androgyny. She looks beautiful and elegant, but still has a bit of a masculine vibe.
Izzy: That’s pretty impressive girl! You pulled off androgyny in gold sparkle and blush pink! Mmmhhhmmm
Elsa: From beautiful pastels to bold black:
Izzy: This looks like me on a Monday morning. Amazingly fashionable and just a little bit pissed.
Elsa: I see more fierce than the word you said.
Izzy: Nicola looks bad-ass or in your words “bad-patootie” in this outfit from @chukiyuki. This dog is ready for the catwalk. MEEE-ow!
Elsa: I don’t say “patootie” I usually prefer “bottom.”
Izzy: You prefer bottoms? I always thought you were more of a pecs and abs girl?
Elsa: Why do you always twist my words?
Izzy: Because it’s fun and you make it so easy.
Elsa: Anyway, I do agree about this outfit. I love the boldness! The black is the perfect background for the hint of red trim, and of course these @swarovski crystal elements. Ohhh la la.
Izzy: Crystals are good too. Just as good as sparkles, I’d say. Even more sophisticated in a lot of instances.
Elsa: This is much more of a masculine way to wear a little bling.
Izzy: And I love that the designer’s name is prominent. I mean, why buy expensive designer clothes if no one knows? Where’s the fun in that?
Elsa: Well, the fun in that is enjoying fine craftsmanship, good fit, luxurious fabrics, beautiful appointments and being confident enough in your own skin, or fur as the case may be, to know that all eyes are on you and not the label you wear.
Izzy: I prefer that everyone know that I am wearing designer stuff. To each his own though… Want to see confidence personified?
Elsa: Macey is adorbs!!!! Rock-n-roll plus a sweet little grin. So charming!
Izzy: She’s a sophisticated, monochromatic version of Lil Pump!! She is SO invited to be in Gucci Gang!
Elsa: I don’t think Gucci Gang is an organized group of fashionistas, Izzy!
Izzy: It’s not?
Elsa: And you call me the innocent one!!
Izzy: Then I’ll start a Bitch Band! And Macey looks sophisticated and bad-bottom enough to be in it. I love this shiny jumper from @eyeofdog. Its super cool with an updated retro-style and is sophisticated, yet fun, with these fabrics.
Elsa: The sunglasses are from @childrensplace. This proves that fine fashion doesn’t have to cost a fortune. I love that she was innovative in choosing a pair of sunglasses that fit her face!
Izzy: The necklace is finesse! It comes from @bulliesandco and it looks a bit gangsta and bit fashionista. I don’t do streetwear too often, but when I do, I go gangsta!
Elsa: She could walk the New York Fashion Week runway or walk on the streets of the city and fit right in! Well done!
Izzy: So, we have seen all the awesomeness that is Fashion Week ready…. Now it’s time to check-in with a poor soul who missed the bus to New York…
Elsa: Well, she’s on a red carpet, but I doubt it’s at Fashion Week.
Izzy: I can assure you that she is NOT at Fashion Week.
Elsa: We’ve seen a lot of glitter today, but I am pretty sure this dress has done me in. I am not sure but I think these sparkles might have blinded me.
Izzy: I’m not sure what Sadie was thinking here… You know, I was watching a Lawrence Welk re-run the other day and there was a tap dance routine to “Rhinestone Cowboy” on there…
Elsa: I’m genuinely concerned about my eyes!
Izzy: This outfit is a sequined ten gallon hat short of a tap costume!!
Elsa: I never knew there could be too much sparkle… but I think we have found it. Why were you watching Lawrence Welk?
Izzy: I’m not always modern and hip. I like a little Welk in my day. Just keeping it 100, sister.
Elsa: We’ve seen how to do sparkle successfully and now we see how to do it not so successfully.
Izzy: If you are going to use sparkle in an outfit you either have to use it in a, shall we say, less bold color or in small amounts.
Elsa: This color is so bold and with the element of the sequins it unfortunately goes from classy to tacky.
Izzy: It looks like she is wearing a superhero cap instead of an evening gown.
Elsa: We should be superheroes… Saving people from bad fashion and this can be our cape!!!
Izzy: Super Fashionista to the rescue!!
Elsa: The hair accessories also put this outfit over the top. I see a hint of gold in the bodice of the dress, but with so much going on in the outfit, adding a bold accessory is total overload. Izzy: Like having a 20 open browser tabs all playing music at once.
Elsa: I am familiar with this designer and some of her designs are more demur and understated. I’m just not a fan of this particular outfit. Now that I can see again. Thank you for your concern, Izzy.
Izzy: I knew you’d recover. Bad fashion blindness, while alarming, is only temporary. We should start a foundation!!! We could raise money to help Super Fashionista save people from bad fashion!!!!
Elsa: You have such… interesting ideas.
Izzy: We could save Sadie!! Who is adorable, by the way. But she looks pissed as a Monday morning in this outfit.
Elsa: You’re really not looking forward to Monday are you?
Izzy: Good thing it’s only Friday and there is still some exciting Fashion Week events yet to unfold!
Elsa: Nothing left to unfold here… at least until next week.
Izzy: And this concludes another exciting ….
Elsa: …yet somewhat offensive episode of the Pawshion Police.
Izzy & Elsa: Stay Fabulous, Fashionistas!
For more Pawshion Police, click here. And, be sure to tune in every Friday for your weekly dose of fashion and sass!
To be considered for a Pawshion Police review, please submit your photos to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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