Izzy: Hello and welcome all you Chips and Salsas!
Elsa: Greetings Fashionistas! Well, let’s see… It’s not Cinco de Mayo and I haven’t heard that we are talking about the Day of the Dead today, so I’m guessing that you are…
Elsa: You’re always hungry.
Izzy: I am not ALWAYS hungry. I’m not hungry while I’m eating!
Elsa: I have no idea how you keep your girlish figure with the amount of food you eat.
Izzy: Shopping, making-out and a fair amount of alcohol. Oh, and maybe a good metabolism.
Elsa: You live an interesting life, Izzy. I hope your hunger pangs don’t distract you from today’s amazing fashions!
Izzy: You know what would make this show even more fun?? Snacks!!! I think we should start bring snacks!
Elsa: While you focus on snacks, I’ll show our first look.
Izzy: This is how I take pictures with all my friends too!
Elsa: I’ve noticed.
Izzy: What do you mean!? You were in all those photos of my last dinner party.
Elsa: Ya. My elbow was in the photo you took of your new outfit. I saw the tip of my shoe on that pic of your new heels and I do believe I saw a peek of my right eye in our selfie.
Izzy: Well, if you were to make a collage, I bet we’d have at least half of you in those photos.
Elsa: Let’s move on to this look, shall we?
Izzy: I love it. It looks feminine, but has some masculine elements.
Elsa: Did you notice that the bow in Iggy’s hair looks to be a man’s bow tie? This is a bold choice.
Izzy: Androgyny is all the rage. But I think what makes this outfit is the repeating patterns of the polka dots in the tie and the circular pearls.
Elsa: Yes! The pearls! I love a good, classic strand of pearls. They go with everything. This beauty looks like a canine Veronica Lodge.
Izzy: Yes, Veronica Lodge. I also get a Gloria Vanderbilt vibe from her.
Elsa: I love the color she’s wearing too. It’s a hot winter color in today’s fashion, and I like it! It’s a little bit red and a little bit brown and it looks fantastic against her complexion.
Izzy: And who wouldn’t love to have her long, sleek neck.
Elsa: Or her long, sleek body! Bet she doesn’t eat chips and salsa!
Izzy: As much as I would like to be long and lean, I’m good with my “snack sized” body and a bag of Goldfish crackers. And a Starbucks.
Elsa: You’re always good with a bag of Goldfish and a Starbucks and a handsome man. Which leads us to our next look…
Izzy: Oh. My. Goodness. I’m feeling the fantasy here with Anderson Cooper’s spirit dog.
Elsa: YES! From Gloria Vanderbilt to her handsome son, Anderson Cooper. We have a very chic and fashionable show today.
Izzy: I love everything about this look. The color palette is fantastic. I love that there are various shades of blue represented in the same look.
Elsa: The clean and neat lines along with impeccable grooming is what is most intriguing to me. A well pressed shirt can go a long way.
Izzy: For many years, men’s fashion was rather boring.
Elsa: Yes, it was confined to darker colors and basic silhouettes.
Izzy: But in recent years… Boy, oh boy, have the boys been bringing it! I love that men can now wear pieces with more pizazz. My favorite part of this look, aside from the man wearing it, is the patterned cuff on the sleeves. A fun little surprise.
Elsa: And the buttons are a nice contrast too.
Izzy: That is one hawt dog. Oh, hot dogs!! That sounds good. Oh, that reminds me….
Elsa: Oh, no!
Izzy: Do you know what the most popular breakfast food is among dogs?
Elsa: Well, my favorite is a beautiful fruit bowl.
Izzy: NOOOOooo!! Pooched eggs!!
Elsa: Very funny and before Izzy has time to come-up with any more jokes, let’s move on to our next look.
Izzy: Dang, gurl! You look amazing.
Izzy: The Wild Side Jacket offered by @barkfifthave is everything.
Elsa: The actual texture and the visual texture of this outfit are both stunning.
Izzy: I’m glad she didn’t put any additional accessories with this outfit. When you wear a piece with this much visual presence, it’s best not to add an accessory.
Elsa: Or maybe just a simple piece, like a black velvet ribbon choker or chain noir for a bit edgier look.
Izzy: This jacket is a nice mix of Bohemian Soul and ultra-sophistication.
Elsa: Chic, but wearable. Nothing like putting on something that you know is going to be amazing and find that it is comfortable and cozy too! I love shopping for clothes like that.
Izzy: I just plain love shopping. By the way, do you know a dog’s favorite kind of store?
Elsa: I’m sure you’re going to tell me.
Izzy: A re-TAIL store!!!!!
Elsa: A re-TAIL store sounds pretty painful, but I have been known to enjoy a little retail therapy.
Izzy: Brace yourself, because you may need therapy, retail or other, after you see this next look.
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Izzy: Evil Minion hair!! I think she might have murdered an Evil Minion and stolen their hair, which is matted with blood, sweat and tears from the battle.
Elsa: And the hair is worn as a victory trophy?
Izzy: Or maybe Joe Dirt and that purple Teletubby had a love child?
Elsa: You really have a vivid imagination. This is quite a terrible look though, I do have to admit. But as always, I do like to find the silver lining. And that silver lining is that sweet little pink bow.
Izzy: With a plaid shirt and purple Evil Minion hair?
Elsa: I like pink. I like bows. Now if I could just re-tie that for her so it’s a little bit smaller and just a little more center….
Izzy: … Ya, you nailed it. The bow is too off-center. That’s what’s throwing this look off.
Elsa: Well, I do like things orderly.
Izzy: That’s like blowing out your birthday candle as the house burns around you.
Elsa: The big picture is made-up of many small details! Anyway, this little dog may be having a bad hair day, but she deserves a HUGE shout-out for being a true survivor. Follow her instagram for some inspiration. I promise, she doesn’t usually dress like this!
Izzy: I do like that she is bold enough to post a photo like this. That takes guts!
Elsa: Just like half of the drunk text pictures you like to send me at 3 am?
Izzy: But I don’t post them publicly!
Elsa: Ready for lunch?
Izzy: Dumb question.
Izzy & Elsa: Stay Fabulous, Fashionistas!
For more Pawshion Police, click here. And, be sure to tune in every Friday for your weekly dose of fashion and sass!
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