Izzy: Greetings all you designer purses and fairy tale princesses.
Elsa: On the surface, these two things have nothing to do with each other, but something tells me…
Izzy: That your exceedingly brilliant and creative friend has found the missing link?
Elsa: I don’t think you know what The Missing Link is…
Izzy: A missing link, then.
Elsa: Okay, enlighten me, ole wise lady.
Izzy: I’m not old!!!!!
Elsa: You’re not wise either.
Izzy: Up yours. I’ll give you a hint…
Elsa: Up yours? Apparently not a lady either.
Izzy: What do Coach purses and Cinderella have in common?
Elsa: Oh, I don’t know…nothing.
Izzy: Only for you non-creative types.
Elsa: Again. Enlighten me.
Elsa: WOW…now that was a stretch.
Elsa: Well, I suppose that Coachella couples wear designer clothing with the fantasy and whimsy of a fairy tale.
Izzy: Okay. Umm…sure…If you are looking for some REAL connection. Don’t you see?? The word “Coach” is scrunched together with the last part of Cinderella.. you know, the “ella” part??
Elsa: Yes. I see that. But I was trying to look for a more concrete and deeper…never mind.
Izzy: I’m deep!
Elsa: As a puddle on the sun.
Izzy: To reiterate…up yours.
Elsa: Enough of your nonsense…
Izzy: Non-Sense??? NON-SENSE!! More like omni-sense!!
Elsa: Making up new words now too. So, we are talking about Coachella. Let’s explain a little about it for those who don’t know. What would you tell people who haven’t been to Coachella?
Izzy: You’re a nerd?
Elsa: No. Most people have not been to the music festival, Coachella, and we can’t really call the majority of our audience nerds. Besides, the question I was really asking was how would you explain Coachella fashions to someone who isn’t familiar with it.
Elsa: Hippy chic?
Izzy: Bohemian rhapsody.
Elsa: That’s a song, not a fashion style.
Izzy: It’s descriptive though.
Elsa: Coachella is a music festival that attracts the worlds young, beautiful, famous and fashionable. And the styles that are worn at Coachella set the tone for many fashion trends.
Izzy: So, let’s take a look at an example?
Elsa: That is the perfect way to start the show!
Izzy: Start? You’ve been rambling on forever…
Elsa: But this is our first guest! And it’s a doozy! And you’re the one who is rambling.
Izzy: She does look quite dreamy.
Elsa: She has the lacy top, the round-framed glasses, the floral headband… and the natural flowing hair.
Izzy: Poster child for Coachella!!
Elsa: Yes, this outfit really does epitomize the event. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words!
Izzy: I need to start taking more pictures then! Maybe I will get you to shut up!
Elsa: Moving on…
Izzy: I love this look! Indiana Jones meets the Village People. Or just really one of the Village people.
Elsa: I know you so well and I am not even sure what you are referring to, but I will say that this is a pretty amazing outfit.
Izzy: The hat is not only stylish but practical too.
Elsa: Yes! The sun can be very hot at Coachella so sunscreen and hats are a great way to protect your eyes and skin.
Izzy: This hat is also great if you want to hide from ex-lovers, paparazzi, or from being seen with you. It’s oversized and can just slide right on over your face.
Elsa: So…it’s practical for more than one use, apparently.
Izzy: The earrings are uber too.
Elsa: They have that southwest or native feel about them…which is so popular in Coachella fashions.
Izzy: I like the necklace too. The shapes and the colors…Gigi looks ALMOST as good as I do. Not quite, though.
Elsa: The denim vest with the distressed sleeves are very bohemian and very in-style.
Izzy: No response about how I look better than Gigi?
Elsa: None that I’m willing to allow out of my mouth.
Izzy: You’re not saying nasty things…now that’s a first.
Elsa: That should be my line.
Izzy: Hey! What do you mean I’m NOT saying nasty things?? That’s so offensive!
Elsa: This next look is a little different than what we normally feature.
Elsa: I LOVE the rich colors of the headband.
Izzy: She’s naked. You commented on her headband and ignore the fact that she is naked?
Elsa: I thought I’d leave that observation to you. Any other comments?
Izzy: Well, for starters…she’s naked.
Elsa: You do realize that dogs are not OBLIGATED to wear clothing, don’t you?
Izzy: I’m fine with being naked. I’m fine with others being naked.
Elsa: So, the headband.
Izzy: You mean the headband on the naked lady?
Elsa: Yes. I mean the headband with such interesting colors. I wonder what types of feathers those are?
Izzy: I thought friends weren’t supposed to wear friends??? Isn’t that what you always preach??
Elsa: Birds lose their feathers naturally, idiot.
Izzy: So much for you not saying nasty things.
Elsa: Getting back to the FASHION since this is a FASHION show…
Izzy: I do love the feathers though. The colors are great. And the necklace is just chunky enough to be glorious without weighing her down too much.
Elsa: Beautiful look for Coachella or any fun summertime concert.
Izzy: Plus, she’s naked.
Elsa: Yes…there’s that too.
Izzy:: Opposite of naked.
Elsa: Opposite of fashion.
Izzy: Let’s just stare at this outfit for a minute and see if we can figure it out.
Elsa: I can’t. It hurts my eyes.
Izzy: If she got lei’d in this outfit, surely our last guest will have no problem…especially since she is already naked.
Elsa: Another helpful observation.
Izzy: Okay, I see Hawaii…
Elsa: I see cat.
Izzy: Maybe flower girl cat?
Elsa: I see ballet dancer.
Izzy: I see Tom Cruise…
Elsa: WHERE!!!!!!! ?????
Izzy: The sunglasses, stupid.
Elsa: That wasn’t very nice.
Izzy: I wasn’t trying to be nice. Anyway, the glasses are very “Top Gun.”
Elsa: The tank top…Miami Vice.
Izzy: If Crockett and Tubbs played volleyball.
Elsa: And last but not least, the handkerchief.
Izzy: A cowboy fold with a tropical pattern.
Elsa: There is no unifying color, pattern, theme or style here.
Izzy: There isn’t even a unifying season here.
Elsa: Do you think that we need to explain to our viewers why this outfit doesn’t work?
Izzy: You always get on my case for insulting our viewers…
Elsa: That was actually a joke.
Izzy: You’re so bad at delivering them that I have no idea when you’re kidding.
Elsa: Don’t blame me if you’re not smart enough to catch on to my clever musings.
Izzy: Maybe I’ll just be too stupid to find my way to Fuku’s to buy you a fried chicken sandwich at Coachella.
Elsa: You know I love you.
Izzy: I know you love fried chicken.
Elsa: Can’t I love both?
Izzy and Elsa: Stay fabulous, fashionistas!
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