Hello, I’m Izzy and I want to personally welcome each of you to another edition of The Pawshion Police. The foremost canine fashion show!
Elsa: And I’m Elsa. Welcome, everyone! I just want to point out a teeny tiny something to you, Izzy … Aren’t we the ONLY canine fashion show?
Izzy: Details! You’re drowning in details, you Debbie Downer! Even if we weren’t, we’d still be the best.
Elsa: Glad your ego is still in perfect health. Maybe I am a little Debbie Downer Grumpy Pants. My parents went to Paris without me.
Izzy: Oh, girl! That is so sad, but that is nothing compared to what I had to put up with this week. It’s been so hot that I’m sweating in places I didn’t know I had. Plus, I’ve been swarmed by bees finding the sweating places that I didn’t know I had. It’s been a trying week. Don’t say anything too snarky to me today, I’m just too tired and stressed to offend you back properly.
Elsa: I really doubt that you could ever be TOO tired or TOO stressed to come-up with a proper come-back. But even as a grump, I hope not to insult you, Izzy. I’m just a little sad, that’s all.
Izzy: Well, you know sad doesn’t get you anything except a higher therapy bill and the need for Botox. Cheer-up because we have a stellar show today and if you don’t smile after you see these lovelies you just aren’t human!
Elsa: I’m not human. I’m a dog.
Izzy: You know what I mean. Sheesh! I told you not to be offensive. My come-backer is asleep!!!
Elsa: Moving along to our first little lovely, @lifeofvi.
Izzy: That should put a smile on anyone’s face.
Elsa: Don’t you just love her and her outfit. The bow is everything in this outfit.
Izzy: Don’t tell anyone, but I walked through a discount retailer the other day and…
Elsa: YOU walked through a discount retailer? Like a big box discount store?
Izzy: I really don’t want to dwell on that fact. My point is that I was so greatly dismayed by the aisle devoted to huge, obnoxious, glittery bows. Don’t get me wrong, on babies and cheerleaders…
Elsa: So you’re not a fan of this large bow?
Izzy: This one! This one is perfection.
Elsa: The color really pops and helps to bring out the rich plum colors of this amazing scarf by @houndcollection. Why do you think this bow works and those bow at the “we-shall-never-discuss-it-again-store” don’t?
Izzy: So many differences. This bow is made from a rich velvet fabric which automatically gives it a luxe feel.
Elsa: The shape is also a lot more mature and sophisticated than a cheerleader bow.
Izzy: Before I get hate mail from @itsjojosiwa, I just want to clarify that I do love a good bow AND they can look great with certain outfits, on certain people and at certain occasions. But seriously, a whole aisle?
Elsa: And you should probably clarify that you aren’t anti-discount store.
Elsa: And you said I was grumpy. I think you have offended half of America.
Izzy: That still leaves me with the other half!!! Yeah!!
Elsa: So, getting back to this lovely look… I can’t take my eyes off of this scarf. The colors are so rich and the pattern is so lovely. Usually a small garment doesn’t look great with a large print, but this one is different. the print is just perfect!
Izzy: I love how she mixes patterns here. We have touched on this many times here on the Pawshion Police and this is another example of how to do it skillfully.
Elsa: Yes, she drew her color inspiration from her long sleeved top, which is so fun, by the way. Then she added this scarf with the same shades of blues and purples. So divine!
Izzy: And speaking of divine, take a look at @andy.griffon.
Elsa: Oh my goodness, I have to have this tassel necklace. It’s fabulous.
Izzy: Isn’t it though? The contrasting color and bling of gold is amazing.
Elsa: And this sweater is one of my favorites. It’s pink. It’s furry. It’s from @eyeofdog. There is nothing about this Pretty Pinky light sweater that I don’t adore!!
Izzy: Yes, you are a pink-aholic! But I can’t disagree!
Elsa: I find it rather intriguing that the long haired texture of the sweater and the long haired tassel work so well together. Instinctively, I would have thought that the addition of the tassel might have made the whole outfit appear heavy, but that certainly is not the case!
Izzy: That’s why it is so important to try on outfits and be a little daring! Its fun to try and mix things together that you wouldn’t normally think to mix!
Elsa: Are you talking about your cocktails again or fashion?
Izzy: Both, actually.
Elsa: Now its time for your favorite part of the show… Men!
Izzy: After a week of hot weather and hella amounts of bees, this yummy guy is what I need!
Elsa: He looks ready for warm weather fun in this cool looking ensemble.
Izzy: @bernietheschnauzer, looks like an updated Don Johnson in these pastels.
Elsa: So much to love here. Let’s start with this thumbs-up Flamingo shirt from @shopdogthreads and available at @lucyand.co.
Izzy: How much fun is this shirt? I love the pastel colors and the fun print. Do you suppose that there is a flamingo out there somewhere wearing a schnauzer shirt?
Elsa: If you can find one, let’s put it on the show!!
Izzy: This shirt has such as an expensive look. Hawaiian or tropical shirts can look tacky, especially if covered in kitchy flamingos, but this one is so amazing!
Elsa: We’ve seen so many ideas that could go tacky, but are really terrific today. I love the amazing contradictions! And you’re right, this shirt is really chic. I think it’s the lovely colors, the luxurious fabric and fine cut.
Izzy: I also think that wood buttons elevate most garments.
Elsa: The t-shirt is great too. It is also from @shopdogthreads. It’s called the “Let’s Flamingo Tee.” What a beautiful color for men and women. And let us not ignore the fact that he rolled the T-shirt over the button down shirt cuff! This is such a carefree, yet suave detail!
Izzy: This proves that you can look really hot and still say super cool.
Elsa: Moving from hot to a hot mess, let me introduce you to @keko.frenchie.
Izzy: Seriously? Keko, you’re giving Frenchies a bad name!
Elsa: This is a tabloid punchline waiting to happen.
Izzy: The hair. The hair is so …wow.
Elsa: Is this a “Who Wore it Best?” with Amy Winehouse?
Izzy: I think they’d both lose. Little Keko here sure looks like she’s been in some sort of wine house…
Elsa: So, the hair. A brush would help. Umm.. I think I’m at a loss for words.
Izzy: I’ll take over then, because we know that rarely happens to me. Keko, you look like a hot mess.
Elsa: Well, that was nice of you.
Izzy: I speak the truth.
Elsa: Okay, to be quite frank, this look is pretty terrible. I am not opposed to ink and I actually dig-it, but these tats are helter-skelter and appear somewhat random and meaningless. The hair needs to be trimmed and styled, or at the least brushed. The animal print here, mixed with this overall ensemble, looks more Peggy Bundy than New York fashion week.
Izzy: I thought you were at a loss for words. Seems like you found a few. And what happened to “Miss Silver Lining?”
Elsa: I like the winged eyeliner.
Izzy: I kinda like the top too.
Elsa: And I like Amy Winehouse’s music.
Izzy: Do we feel better now? Looking at the silver lining and all?
Elsa: I just want to grab her and brush that hair!!
Izzy: I’m not so sure I want to touch that hair.
Elsa: I do feel a little better than when we started the show.
Izzy: Me too. I think making fun of people really helps.
Elsa: I’m pretty sure that it was more the hanging-out with your friend and good fashion that really helped.
Izzy: Either way, thank you for making fun of people with me, Elsa!
Elsa: Anytime, Izzy!
Izzy and Elsa: Stay fabulous, Fashionistas!
For more Pawshion Police, click here. And, be sure to tune in every Friday for your weekly dose of fashion and sass!
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