Izzy: Hello, Squad and Stalkers!
Elsa: Umm.. Welcome, friends. You know, Izzy, I don’t mean to tell you what to do, but I’m just afraid that you, may, at times, be a little…
Izzy: Amazing? Hilarious?
Elsa: Yes, those things, but also maybe just a little…
Izzy: Talented?
Elsa: I was going to say, rude.
Izzy: I’m not rude, I’m honest. I’m sure there must be someone out there willing to stalk me. I mean, I am quite beautiful and an A-list celebrity. It’s just a matter of time before someone wants to watch me grocery shop and …
Elsa: Have you ever actually been IN a grocery store?
Izzy: That’s beside the point. I’ve been too busy hanging with my squad, my bitches…
Elsa: And that’s another thing… your language could be considered offensive. I just hope we don’t lose our audience.
Izzy: Umm, Elsa, you ARE a bitch. I’m just educating people that bitches are female dogs. That’s all. Consider this an educational moment for America’s fashionable youth. It’s really a public service, you know.
Elsa: Well, if that is REALLY what was in your heart, then I shouldn’t judge.
Izzy: You are my top bitch, by the way.
Elsa: Thank you?
Izzy: That is a compliment. Oh, and you will not believe our first guest today. She is a total PIG!
Elsa: Okay, now this is really getting offensive.
Izzy: No, really, look Elsa… She really is a pig!! I’m not lying, bitches!!
Elsa: Oh, you really weren’t lying!
Izzy: I’m offended that you sound shocked.
Elsa: Well, under the circumstances, Izzy….
Izzy: Anyway, this is Turtledove and she looks HAWT in this watermelon inspired look.
Elsa: It’s a big bow again! We loved last week’s big bow. What do you think of this one?
Izzy: I love it. I think it works with this playful, summer outfit.
Elsa: I do too! This oversized bow makes her look even more adorable!!
Izzy: I like the pattern and size, but my favorite part is this slice of watermelon bling! Who would have ever thought to add bling to watermelon. Very cool.
Elsa: As we mentioned last week, there is a time and place for a bow of this size and this is done perfectly. It’s fun and flirty and perfect for a casual summer outing. Also, the simple red polo shirt was a great choice and it really pops against her pale skin. It is the Cool Pups Red Polo Shirt from @unitedpups. Polo shirts are a staple that can be paired with so many things!
Izzy: The props in the this photo are pretty awesome too. The happy watermelon slice is available at @giftspawt and was made by @zippypaws. I love a girl who matches her outfits to her toys.
Elsa: This would be a fun outfit for a picnic too!
Izzy: Oh, yes! I love romantic picnics using the perfect Burberry blanket with a nice Brie and bottle of Vueve Clicquot. But now that I have to keep a low profile I will only be able to do this if my date rents out the entire park.
Elsa: Alrighty, then. We will see how many will be able to pull that one off.
Izzy: With my fine taste, I’m sure there will be plenty of wealthy men lining up! Speaking of men, you are going to die over our next guest! But I get first dibs.
Elsa: Ohhh la la… @hamiltonlefrenchie is a hottie.
Izzy: That’s usually my line!
Elsa: I can’t help myself. Hamilton is amazing and his fashions are pretty darn cool, too.
Izzy: Oh…. you said, “Darn!” I’m pretty sure you are going to have to pay a priest for that one.
Elsa: I don’t think it works like that, Izzy.
Izzy: I do agree that he looks “pretty darn cool” too. I love this striped black and white shirt. This type of shirt is another good fashion staple. It is a clean look that can go with a variety of styles. Plus it’s necessary, if you ever want to dress up like a French mime or a pirate.
Elsa: Do you do that… often?
Izzy: I just mean, you never know when you might want to dress-up… nevermind.
Elsa: This Classic Denim Jacket from @pablo.and.co is ridiculous!! It’s such a nice color and looks expensive. Denim is so interesting because it can look trashy or chic. This looks very chic and polished. I am in-love with this outfit and a teeny bit in-love with Hamilton.
Izzy: Hamilton, please call and ask Elsa out on a date. She needs help so I’ll let her have this one. Thanks.
Elsa: Oh, Izzy, you shouldn’t do that… but I do hope he calls.
Izzy: I do, too. In an unrelated matter, what do you wear to bed, Elsa?
Elsa: That better be an unrelated matter, Izzy!!!!!
Izzy: It is, you dirty-minded-little-bitch!
Elsa: If this episode doesn’t get us censored, I don’t know what will!!!!!
Izzy: So, answer the question.
Elsa: That’s privy information, Izzy. A lady never talks about what she does in private.
Izzy: Well, our friend Copper doesn’t seem to think it is much of a secret.
Elsa: Like I said, some things should just remain private. Like this outfit for example. Do you think that is pajama’s? I think he is just feeling frilly.
Izzy: “‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse!”
Elsa: Huh? It’s not Christmas time…
Izzy: And Mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap..
Elsa: Omg, Izzy! This was actually really funny!
Izzy: I think so!! So, there’s lace. There’s green floral.
Elsa: You’re just stating facts!
Izzy: Well, you said I had to be “nice” and that I couldn’t “swear” so what else is left to me?
Elsa: Let me discuss this then. First, I do love the floral pattern. It would make a nice scarf. But I don’t love it as a dress. And I don’t love this hat. And I REALLY don’t love these two pieces together.
Izzy: You’re right. That hat would look nice on Mrs. Claus at a school Christmas play.
Elsa: Possibly, this outfit could be used as pajamas. This outfit isn’t public ready and what you wear to bed is really not up for public scrutiny.
Izzy: Speak for yourself on that one.
Elsa: Oh, Izzy… I do love Copper’s instagram account, though. He sure has a great sense of humor and has so much fun with his interesting costumes. And I have so much fun reading all his witty remarks.
Izzy: Plus his eyes are amazing.
Elsa: Look at this handsome man!
Izzy: I think your hormones are kicked into high gear today.
Elsa: Doesn’t he look handsome!? Definitely a big city boy with this chic look.
Izzy: I like the color combination. It isn’t exactly monochromatic but I like that he stuck mainly in the blue tones. Teal and Royal blue are a great combination.
Elsa: Cool and breezy, like an ocean beach. With white sand and a table set for two during sunset..
Izzy: Elsa??? I thought you liked Hamilton?
Elsa: Oh, I do. I was just thinking how..
Izzy: I know what you were thinking, but this is a family show.
Elsa: Look who is trying to keep it clean now!?
Izzy: But yes, this outfit does have a, dare I say it, “easy breezy” feel to it. The shirt and sweater fit so nicely too.
Elsa: The star of the show here, aside from Jonathan himself, is this amazing bling from @rebeldawg.shop. We’ve featured them many times on this show because their stuff is just so…
Izzy: So darn cool?
Elsa: Right.
Izzy: The tag is amazing and looks great dangling from that thick, masculine collar.
Elsa: He has that smoldering eye thing down just perfectly too.
Izzy: Well folks, I’m going to go and throw a bucket of cold water over Elsa’s head.
Elsa: You better not try! This is a very expensive outfit!
Izzy: I would never actually do it. I have more respect for fashion than to do that…
Elsa: You bitch!
Izzy: WHAT?
Elsa: Stay fabulous, fashionista BITCHES!
For more Pawshion Police, click here. And, be sure to tune in every Friday for your weekly dose of fashion and sass!
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